


Buckling

by purplefox



Series: Privacy [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 22:56:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7864729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiding is painful but they have no real choice in the matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buckling

Their relationship was conducted in the shadows, kisses, meetings even the time they had realized they were more alike than they had thought that had come in a dark moment, a lingering touch and glance when both their guards were down.

Naruto had been terrified, he had thought he would lose everything until he saw Kakashi felt the same way, even when they had gave in, nothing really changed. Time continued as normal, the people around them continued as normal and no one realized a thing.

With every day that continued as normal their fear rose. That kind of thing, their kind of relationship was not easy, there were eyes everywhere and people were simply too quick to jump to conclusions. The well-meaning ones had the harshest of tongues.

The reason they had said nothing before was because they had been given no choice.

Naruto wanted to leave it all behind, the place, his job and the people that stifled him but with Kakashi he knew he could make it for at least another day and his feelings transferred over.

In the dark the two of them coupled with grasping hands as sweat slid over them and the sheets tangled. Lingering kisses and sobs and sighs were the only things heard in the darkness of the room.

Because they sure as hell didn’t dare try to do it anywhere else. Not hotels, not outside and after they left the room their hands did not even brush unless by accident. Even when they were so aware of each other. Their decision was torture but it was the only choice they had.

Naruto simply hated the place that they were. He cleared his throat and leaned up so he could lightly trace his finger over Kakashi’s neck. They had not even bothered to remove his shirt properly, the grey arm hole was soaked in several spots with sweat and Kakashi’s come. “I wish I could do what people expect of us.” He admitted and felt his throat clench up.

Kakashi stilled before he turned his head on the pillow, the eyes that Naruto had first thought were cold were wet with unshed tears. “I know.” Kakashi whispered and the hurt in the older man’s voice made Naruto feel even worse. “I wish I could quit this too.”

But they couldn’t, they were what they were and Naruto’s resentment grew. He leaned over and harshly kissed Kakashi’s mouth to try and wipe away the sad feeling that had slid over them both. He wished they could stay there forever, he wished he was strong enough, big enough to find a better solution, besides the one they had.

“I won’t leave you alone.” Naruto promised, he had made that promise so many times since the beginning. “As long as we want this I’ll be here and if you find someone I’ll still be here.” Even though it just might destroy him, he did not want to say he had fallen for Kakashi but he had a feeling that he might have just done that somewhere along the way.

The world was simply too cruel, granted their friendship was strange even for one with benefits, so much reassurances and personal things but Naruto found it hard to look away from Kakashi’s face, the man had suffered so much, was still suffering.

He held back so much and no one noticed, that he allowed himself to break in Naruto’s arms was nothing short of a miracle. So even though they lamented their fate often, wished they could quit what they had between them, wished they could end the attraction Naruto had a feeling it was too late for him. Even though they would be hated, there was no one else he would rather be with, he wished they had been born in a more understanding time. He pressed a kiss to Kakashi’s shoulder as a tear slid down his cheek to land on the pillow.


End file.
